Tour de Park

I have fond childhood memories of cycling-it was the first ever athletic activity I indulged in (that is, if you don’t count leaping around like a frog when I saw a lizard). My father had bought me a purple cycle (that was my first ever favourite color) and my sister a pair of skates and she and I learned together. She went through the whole training process with her skates and I with my cycle. My grandfather anxiously watched from the balcony as we learned, fell, brushed off our wounds and started all over again. Unfortunately, Mumbai isn’t a city suited for cyclists and as I grew older, that interest died.

In a bid to check off all my items on my Singapore to-do list, I have been doing a lot of things for the first time recently. The one for this weekend was cycling around East Coast Park. I was super excited because I had wanted to do this for three years, but never got around to it for some reason or another. I was quite confident that I would be a pro, because my mother had told me that swimming and cycling are two activities one never forgets on learning-they come naturally even if one picks them up after years.

Early on Saturday morning, I set off. I rented a cycle and got on to it, with the confidence of Lance Armstrong. And crashed onto the ground. I tried again and again, only to realise I had completely forgotten how cycling is done. Finally I managed to balance myself and started peddling, but couldn’t go five steps before crashing down again. I was frustrated and embarrassed and went up to the rental guy and told him I wouldn’t be cycling after all. He said it was fear that was preventing me from cycling and once I overcame the fear, I would be just fine.

I thought over what he said as I pulled out onto the road. I haven’t exactly been known for my bravery. I always run away from situations when I feel it’s getting tough-whether its not appearing for exams because I don’t feel prepared enough, avoiding events where people I don’t want to see are coming or not doing things which I feel I would embarrass myself in/fail at. Ms GK 2 (The name for my delhi ex- flatmate henceforth since that was the first thing she ever told me about herself, “Hi, I'm *********. I stay in GK2 in South Delhi”) always used to tell me that I missed out on a lot in life due to my fear and I needed to work on it. In another context, a very good friend told me recently that I need to immerse myself fully into things, without any fear or expectations. Long story short, I decided to try again.

And lo and behold…I could do it, I could do it, I could do it!! It was the most amazing feeling…cycling with the breeze hitting my face, almost as if I was flying on a Nimbus 2000! I was in heaven! And once I overcame my fear and stopped saying Hanuman Chalisa, I started listening to my I pod instead. Wind whipping by your face, AR Rahman performing magic and the sea by your side…what more does one want! I was super-duper happy.

A few words of caution to amateur cyclists:

1. You will fall…A lot. And you will come home with bruises and scratches and aches. In case you have an old Aunty as a neighbour, who is as interested in your life as my neighbour is, please budget for some time to explain to her that these are wounds caused due to cycling-you are definitely NOT in an abusive relationship. Or, be smart and use concealer, and avoid the interrogation altogether.

2. Continuing from point 1, please focus on the road. You may think you are an expert since you have managed to stay on the bike for 5 mins nonstop, but don’t let that get into your head. As soon as I felt I had got the hang of it, I started sticking my tongue out at kids as I overtook them and smiling flirtatiously at all the cute Angrez guys I passed. Unfortunately, the same kids stuck their tongues out at me when I crashed a few minutes later and the Angrez guys smiled back, more out of amusement than flirtatiousness, at the sight of me lying in a crumpled heap.

3. You will have to pick yourself up when you fall. I thought the whole world would come to the rescue of this damsel in distress when she fell-but no one did. Ironically, the song playing on my I pod when I fell for the nth time and picked myself up was, “yeh duniyaaaaaa yeh duniya pitall di”. I will not embarrass myself further by quoting the next line.

4. An I pod shuffle is far, far better than an I pod touch when it comes to athletic activity. 

The party’s just started- Cheers to many, many cycling weekends, with lots of  nice sights (men and otherwise ;), lots of exhilaration and a few falls as well!

That fickle thing called fate

I was watching the climax of Lage Raho Munnabhai last night, in which Munnabhai and Circuit were trouncing an astrologer and ranting about how futile the whole horoscope and stars thing is. I have often pondered over this myself. As far as I go, I have some clear beliefs and some grey areas.

I firmly believe in the power of prayers and chanting. I firmly believe in Karma and “good begets good” (Having said that, I have become such a devil in recent times that I feel Satan would get an inferiority complex). In my high school years, my super sweet Hindi teacher said infinite times “Betiyon, humein manushya janma chaurasi lakh yoniyon ke baad milta hai, isliye ise kabhi vyarth nai jaane dena chahiye” (We get the human incarnation after 5.4 million births and hence shouldn’t waste it-AVM girls reading this, raise your hands for a high five!). However, there are sceptics to this too. I once mistakenly deleted an excel I had worked on for hours and told Top Cat that it was all because I had killed a snake in my last birth and so had to struggle and fail a lot in life.  He said in a deadpan way, “Of course-stupidity has nothing to do with it. I must have been a horrible, horrible serial killer then, since I have to put up with you in this birth.” However, I don’t care. These philosophies are non-negotiable for me. In fact, when I really feel sorry for someone going through a bad time, my ultimate words of consolation are, “Don’t worry-everything will be fine. Only good things happen to good people” and “I’ll pray super hard for you.” Both of which I truly believe.

However, there are grey areas as well-gem stones, horoscopes, numerology and the like. My mother believes very firmly in these, sometimes putting me into tricky situations. She made me wear these really uncool rings when I was going through a bad phase. After I wore the rings, things only got worse. And that’s not even taking into account all the teasing I was subjected to any time my fingers were noticed. So I went and whined to my mother about how things had gotten worse after wearing the rings, to which she said, “Imagine HOW bad they could have gotten had you NOT worn them!” What can anyone possibly say to that!

She also believes very firmly in auspicious dates and periods. So I end up paying extra rent because there is no auspicious period when my lease expires and I would otherwise be homeless. I also had to join my current job a month after the date my boss desired for the same reason i.e. no auspicious date before that. I was idiotic enough to tell him the real reason to which I got the sarcastic response, “Of course of course…we can’t have someone like you joining us on an inauspicious date”.  But I know my mother loves me too much and would worry insanely if I didn’t follow her wishes in this matter, so have stopped arguing altogether.

Then there is the whole horoscope issue. I firmly used to believe what Ganesha told me every week in Sunday times. But then, in Bombay times, which is a supplement of the very same newspaper, Peter Vidal and his readings told me something completely contradictory. I got very confused as a result. (I wont say anything more about TOI-I think they are in enough of a mess as it is!) As if that wasn’t enough, sub branches like Numerology and Tarot came up and complicated life even more. I was supposed to have terrible luck in my job according to one reading, but was due for promotion according to another. My dream guy was right around the corner as per one, but I was supposed to have a heart break as per another. So then, I decided to do what suited me the best-believe all the nice things in all of them. So basically, at any given time, depending on the number of horoscopes I choose to read, I am blessed in love, have a promotion happening, have a page 3 social life and amazing health. Cool na! (Don’t ask if this is really happening or not…hint: if it were, do you think I would have the time to be blogging at the rate that I am?)

I am not trying to make any point in this post or give an opinion one way or the other. I have absolutely no idea how these things work or even whether they work. I just go ahead with life and hope my stars will take care of themselves. In the meantime, if any of you reading this had “you will have to read nonsensical rambling on someone’s blog today” in your daily horoscope, please pass on the contact details of your astrologer!

Guess who's back!!

I was a social media sceptic for the longest time and stayed away from it for as long as I could. Then I left home, and was forced to join Facebook so that I could keep in touch with friends back home. I kept my activity to the bare minimum…not because I was a voyeur but because I was painfully shy. I was also scared of people and feared opening up to a large audience. Besides, I felt that lots of people out there were far more “facebookworthy” than I (better looking, funnier and smarter) and wanted to give them the stage.

I have always enjoyed writing and being the nerd that I am, I looked forward to essay writing in an English exam and report writing during my MBA. I had often toyed with the idea of writing a blog, but then I would read the mind-blowing blogs of others and give up altogether. Besides, my fear of putting myself out there and being judged by others overpowered any fleeting temptations I had, and life continued as it was.

Then things started changing. I befriended some really amazing people over the last few years, and also, due to some maturity and wisdom (hopefully!), developed strong bonds with acquaintances and long lost friends back home. I slowly started realising that people weren’t all that scary after all. So, when I was overwhelmed with excitement or sheer boredom, I started putting up fb statuses. And surprise, surprise…the sky didn’t open up and swallow me!

In the meanwhile, I got a fracture and had to spend a lot of time resting. It coincided with several personal and professional blows and I needed to do something that would keep me sane. I started writing blog posts and saved them in a desktop folder but never created a blog.

One fine day, I read each of them. I realised that they weren’t just posts. They were reflections of my childhood and teens, observations of mundane things in my present, and sometimes, dreams about my future. But more than anything, they were me….nerdy, weird, moody, over emotional…but still as honest as I could be. And that’s when it hit me…why be scared of being myself? This realisation took the form of my blog.

Through my blog, I wanted the people I loved and cared for to know me better. I have always been socially challenged-I never pick up/return phone calls, reply to messages when I feel like and need to be dragged out of my house to meet up. Often, I disappear for months, if not years, without reason, leaving my friends hurt and worried. This blog was my way of telling all of them that I really did care deeply for them. That I did think about them often and cherished the times I spent with them.

As I started putting up posts, something wonderful started happening. I started overcoming my problems because I had something to look forward to. My mind got diverted in my quest for new inspirations and ideas. I rambled more often than not, my grammar would have caused the Grammar Nazis to put me into prison and my writing was not remotely close to the blogs I followed, but it didn’t matter. Friends who read my blog were enjoying it (or they are damn good liars!). I reconnected with old, long lost friends and got closer to acquaintances who reached out to me with words of encouragement. On a few occasions, rank strangers messaged me to tell me that they related to my posts. I was more at peace than I had been for a long time.

And then I wrote a very honest and heartfelt post…to vent my pain and to help those who were going through something similar. Unfortunately, the reaction to that post from some quarters was harsh and killed my fledgling confidence. Deeply scarred, I not only deleted the blog but also deactivated facebook. I just wanted silence and isolation. The reactions of those close to me ranged from dismayed to disappointed…But I had made up my mind.

   

For close to a month, I stayed away. However, my mind kept going back to my blog. From small observations in my day to day life to huge events, inspiration and ideas kept finding me. I wasn’t at peace and needed to do something about it…and the result is what you are reading right now.

A big, big thank you to those that reached out to me when I deleted my blog. It was the vote of confidence that I needed more than anything at that stage, and helped me get back onto my feet again. I now promise…  I will never do this again. I promise to be myself, even if I come across as uncool, weird, immature or over-senti. Because life is too short to be someone else or to hold back on something that gives you happiness and peace. 

Fun, food and fanfare

                                                                

I know my title sounds festive and that’s because we now enter the most enjoyable part of the year.. *drum roll*….garba, Diwali, weddings, birthdays, Christmas and New year! I realise that all those who know me must be rolling their eyes with contempt, because I am not exactly a party person. I probably have seen the maximum New Year’s eve TV programs from my generation (biggest blockbuster of the year on one channel, stage shows of film stars on another, end of the year countdown on a third), worked/studied unfailingly on Diwali since it always clashes with financial quarter ends/ exams and spent the day after a dandiya night apologizing to all the people I have caused bruises and stubbed toes due to my dandiya sticks and heels. But what the hell...I love this time of the year.

The entire Diwali period brings out the deep seated, but very much existent gujju in me. Although its really uncool, I love Falguni Pathak and the whole garba/dandiya fervor. I am hopeless at it myself, but I guess I just love watching the happiness, care free spirit and enthusiasm with which people get onto the floor and dance.

This period also breaks my tom boy comfort zone a bit, because I have to dress up for all the festivals and weddings. My savior in this department, my ex-flatmate  has already asked me to back off while she searches around and advises me on my clothes for the season. The accountant in me unfailingly loses to the fashionista in her and I guess I will have to take a deep breath (if not a bank loan) before I look at my credit card statement over the next few months.

And of course, Diwali brings with it the biggest Bollywood blockbuster of the year (Although Salman and Amir have now spoilt that a bit). I am not a big fan of SRK/Farah Khan and definitely not of Deepika Padukone but I am an Indiawaali, and hence eagerly await the biggest movie of the year.

I’ve never been able to figure out how exactly the Indian cosmos align so favorably and so frequently in December, but it seems as if the whole world is getting married. I have been fortunate to attend this part of my friends’ lives in a unique way-most of them stopover in Singapore before/after their honey moons, and, the way I choose to see it, seek my blessings for a happy married life! I eagerly await some of my friends this time as well and am spending some happy time planning their brief stay here.

Back home, I loved Christmas since it just seemed like so much fun. I loved the chubby Santa distributing gifts, the beautifully decorated X mas trees, the nip in the air since it was a pleasant change from the usual Mumbai heat and humidity and the one week break from school. However, I now like Christmas for an entirely different reason-it’s the time I get to come home without any worries of office backlog or angry bosses. I can soak in the love of my parents and friends back home which would keep me going for the rest of the year when I am away from them.

And with that, I will stop, before I jinx all of this and end up with a bad end to an eventful 2014! Happy  festivities folks!