Disclaimer: I don’t watch
Bigg Boss regularly neither do I work for Viacom 18. I just happened to watch
an episode last night since I was exhausted and the remote was too far for me to
change the channel.
Last night I was watching a random episode of Bigg Boss,
where Salman Khan, the host, was berating the house mates for isolating one
particular housemate and making him feel miserable over something wrong that he
had done. I know that Bigg Boss is definitely not a depiction of real life and
it is quite pathetic that I am starting a blog post in this manner, but this
particular visual set me thinking about the whole pattern of bullying, groupism
and isolation.
It is a myth that bullying and groupism are limited to
school. Yes, that’s where they begin. But it carries on throughout life, in
different situations. Spiderman’s Uncle Ben may definitely have told him that
with great power came great responsibility, but believe me you, in today’s
cruel world, more often than not, power, coolness and wealth are used irresponsibly
to bully others and make them feel small.
I have been both the bully and the victim, maybe due to
Karma, maybe due to circumstances. My biggest regret from my school life is
that I never stood up for my timid class mates in spite of knowing how badly
they were being treated. I got carried away by the notion of wanting to be cool
and accepted and I never did the right thing, in spite of being in an
influential situation. And this, when I knew that scars inflicted during one’s
teens stay forever and shatter confidence. It is a guilt that weighs me down till
this date.
I have also been the victim several times. Whether it is
horribly condescending and mean comments made on my nature by
supposedly close friends, whom I couldn’t hit back at at due to timidity and
lack of confidence, being isolated at times merely due to my life style choices, shyness and need for good grades or being cheated by landlords and flat mates since I
was perceived as weak..I have gone through it too.
I have also seen these things happen as a neutral third
party. I have seen rock solid groups split into two because two people within
the group break up/have a huge fight and everyone else rushes to take sides. Or
worse still, everyone sides with the one person, leaving the other friendless
overnight. This isn’t even limited to social situations. The timid one at work
will always stay the longest and have the most files at his/her desk. The
region/ commercial business with a spineless head will always get super
aggressive, if not impossible revenue targets to achieve. From Bollywood to the
corporate world, cronyism and cliques exist. There is a profession that thrives
on popularity and groupism-it is called politics.
Bullies are actually the most insecure people-it’s because
they don’t feel good about themselves that they want to pull others down. It’s
because people can’t accept themselves that they need the acceptance of the “cool”
people. So don’t ever let bullies scar your confidence. If you are have been
isolated by your friend circle due to a fight that you had with someone else
within the group-you are better off, because if they were your true friends,
they would be with you. Yes, if you are wrong, they would tell you that, but
they wouldn’t desert you. No one that makes you feel small about yourself is
worth having in your life.
Most importantly, stop playing victim and start standing up
for yourself. If you don’t stand up for yourself and what you think is right…no
one else will. Voicing your opinion or making your hurt known isn’t wrong…it is
an essential form of self-preservation. Remember, the people that have made their mark in this world always stood out from the crowd.
