As I made my new year resolutions (and broke one within 3
hours of writing it down), I was forced to reflect on how far I had progressed
with my 2014 resolutions. The answer was a disappointing and demotivating 0%. I
hadn’t managed to fulfil a single resolution. Was 2014 a waste? No. It was
probably the year that brought me closer to myself, my fears, hopes, dreams and
insecurities. A year that made me pause and think. It was the most difficult
year I have had in a long time and was emotionally and physically draining…but
has taught me lessons that will stay for life.
It was a year in which I lost a lot that I had formerly held
very dear, whether it was the best work project I had ever done, the best colleague
I had ever had or some personal relationships that were so close to my heart
that I could feel searing pain when they ended. But that was perhaps the
biggest learning I had- to let go and move on... to become
emotionally detached from my work and from people.
In the solitude and the act of picking up pieces of my
broken heart, self-respect and self-esteem, I found myself. I learnt how to stand
up for myself and for what I thought was right. I cut off from anyone that made me feel unfairly bad about myself or that didn’t treat me with the
respect or love that I deserved.
Was it a bad year then? No..not in the least. I cant
remember the last time I have felt emotions to this degree of severity. I cant remember the
last time when each month has come with a lesson so great, that it would remain etched in my memory for life. 2014 made me realise who really cared for me. It helped me understand and work towards becoming the
person I aspire to be. It got me to me witness
some dear friends settle down, nudged me to do some high impact social work after a long
time, ensured that I look after my health and helped me to develop the courage to express myself through
this blog.
I have no idea whether I will tick off even a single item when
2015 ends…but I do know that I am entering into it wiser, stronger and braver.
Wish everyone all the best for 2015!