A letter to those with a broken heart

I have never made any bones about the fact that I am a romantic and that I love love -I suspect the genesis is the 90s Bollywood movies that I grew up on but anyway, the fact is that love and love stories have always fascinated me. I thrived on matchmaking between friends in my teens and got a major high if the relationship actually clicked.

Unfortunately, one sees only what one wants to see and so I never paid heed to the hundreds of relationships around me that didn’t work out…I am such a firm believer in happy endings that I don’t even watch a movie if it doesn’t end well. And so I lived in denial for virtually most of my life over the fact that sometimes things don’t end the way we want them to..irrespective of how much we put into it, irrespective of how unadulterated our emotions are. God has a way of making us come out of our comfort zone and seeing reality and over the past few years, I have seen some “not so happy endings”, heartbreaks and unpleasantness all around me.

Today I write this to someone who loved a boy very truly and deeply for over a decade, first as a friend and then romantically, only to be led on cruelly, given dreams of marriage, of family, of a future and then, when he had found a better option, to be told that he didnt love her and that they should be friends.

Dear girl whose rose tinted glasses have finally come off,

I realise that you are in tremendous pain and distress right now. I know that you keep questioning what you did wrong and why you have to go through this, since your only fault was to love…blindly and unconditionally. But sometimes we don’t have answers to our questions and we just have to make do with that. Love is a very delicate emotion, especially since it is selfless and pure. We cant understand how someone else can mock it, disrespect it, abuse it. We cant fathom how someone else could so ruthlessly trample over our heart which was filled to the brim with love for them.

But the sooner you accept what has happened, the better it is for you. He never cared for you..he never will care for you..now you need to stop caring too. He treated you in a disgusting way..why are you giving him any sort of importance at all? Respect and trust are far better foundations of any relationship than love ever was and he never considered you worthy of either of those.. is he worth even an iota of your mind-space now? 

 I know that ten years is a long, long time to love someone..but you always knew deep down that he never loved you a fraction of how much you loved him. Remember how he told you that he would need his friends’ approval before committing to you? Remember how he wanted to know about your health conditions before making any lifetime promise (conveniently ignoring  the fact that his health wasnt exactly top notch)?  He has treated you horribly time and again..you were going to come to this state sooner or later.

I am the first to concede that its all much easier said than done. But be brave, be selfish and be strong. Life is going to keep going on regardless, why not just enjoy it? He may not have loved you..but you are blessed with friends and family that care for you and love you. You need to move on for their sake.  You have a tremendous lot going for you..dont succumb to the throes of self pity and depression.

And now the hardest part..dont become bitter, don’t become a disbeliever in love, friendship and goodness. Yes, its very difficult, but believe that this could be a lesson for you never to ill treat someone that comes to you eagerly with emotions so pure and cherish those that love you. Have faith in love, in karma and in goodness…you will find happiness, peace and companionship someday…and that day, you will thank this loser for treating you as he did.

Yours truly,

Casper.