Dear girl who is leaving home for the first time,
Congratulations on taking this brave and exciting step. I am
sure you feel scared, excited, uncertain and free, all at the same time. Don’t worry…this
is a step that will change your life like nothing else would and take you to a
new level of growing up altogether.
If you are anything like what I was, then you may be in
quite a mess at first. Everything will seem tough, frustrating and undoable.
You may have advanced degrees in finance, but those aren’t going to help you
find the fuse box in your apartment when the electricity conks off or give you
the insight that silk isn’t a fabric for machine wash. You may have been able
emerge victorious in fights with your sisters or parents, but your fierce landlord
or bossy flat mates aren’t going to give in out of love for you. When you see
your pitiable bank balance after paying rent and household expenses each month,
the expression “Aate daal ka bhaav janna” will become more than just something
you mugged up the meaning of for your Grade ten Hindi examination. These,
however, are still easy obstacles to deal with.
There will be times when you will return after a horrible
day to an empty house and you will pine for the love and comfort your family
provided you in similar circumstances. If god forbid you are ill and stuck in
bed all alone, you will remember how all your friends back home forced
themselves into your room during similar situations back home, tolerated all
your tantrums and cheered you up. When you are unsure of yourself and suffering
from low self-esteem because of judgmental peers, you will miss all the people from
your past life who stood up for you no matter what and made you feel that you
were born to grace the “Fortune’s list of top 100” cover story.
When you look back at all the times you wanted to break down,
quit and take the first flight back home but didn’t, you will feel proud of
your tenacity, your fighting spirit and your evolution. You will develop a deep
appreciation for all the unconditional love and support you have received in
your life. Your parents’ nagging or over-protectiveness will now be viewed out
of fondness because now you know that their love shines through. Your friends’
fond teasing and gentle advice will be longed for, because now you know that
they had no ulterior motive other than to see you happy and laughing. Simply
put, you will become a better friend, daughter and human being.
The best part of this entire process is that it is a journey
of self-discovery like none other. In the silence of solitude, the voices in
your head will finally be heard. You will start to understand your insecurities,
vulnerabilities, strengths and fears. More importantly, you will strive to
change what you can and accept what you cant. And with that will come a
remarkable sense of peace and happiness.
Maybe you will return to your home eventually, maybe you
wont. Maybe you will have a family of your own, maybe you wont. But one thing
is for sure…you are the only definite companion you are going to have for the
rest of your life. That’s why, however tough it is, don’t give up on this
journey till you are perfectly comfortable with yourself. Everything else, will then, eventually fall
in place.
Best regards,
Casper
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